Phew...I think

Whew, what a collection of thoughts in this big bad blog.  I figured for the last one I would have some new friends….or haters.  I pondered a very long time on hitting post, but my finger slipped and it’s done.  It’s just a piece of writing, after all!  Writing, this, that, and another or something like that has been fun.  I definitely have a lot of improvement to do.  After reading about even the big boys, and girls struggling to write their masterpieces, that is what I pull up from my antique hard drive brain to assist me in pushing through my works.  It is hard, very hard to do sometimes. 

The comic that I think I am isn’t really able to put any of “me” into the writing often and I think that would be where I could possibly excel.  Maybe a little slapstick humor with a side

of my sarcastic, usually a little dark humored, twisted way of thinking to make it interesting.  Maybe ill finally someday get the courage, not the liquid kind, to finishing putting all of my post-its, scraps of paper, and recordings together into a properly organized three minute bit to start and light up Goonies on an improv night.  Most of that material will not make it to an English assignment, but I think a little that I have learned even has given me ideas on how to better structure even stand up bits so my potential audience will follow along better.  But then again, after thinking about it, nope, I think making that material different may make it lose it’s edge I’ll call it.  This blogging has been different for sure.  As I look back onto some of my stuff and see I just sort of rambles aimlessly on for some of it.  And wandering aimlessly around is right up my alley so hopefully it woks, it entertained me when I read it!  I’ll re-read this later and see if it makes sense, even if just a little bit!

A Modest Proposal....

Whew, that was a quite a different read I must say.  After reading and re-reading that essay by Jonathan Swift, I am still not sure if he was writing a story or if he was serious.  Maybe a little bit of seriousness given the dire situation his people seemed to be having.

The only thing that comes to mind is something that I have pondered for years.  We have oodles and oodles of elderly in this country that live longer and longer each year as medical advancements allow for prolonged life.  We have no sort of preventative human maintenance so to say, but once you are broken, we can fix it and keep you alive for seemingly forever.  I have for many years thought that maybe a little population control could or possibly should be done.  It has enraged a few people I have mentioned this to over the years.  I just lost my grandmother recently and she lived to a ripe old age of ninety two.  She had emphysema, major anxiety that set the emphysema off daily and a few other afflictions.  She wasn't very happy with her quality of life.  My wife's grandfather lived to be ninety eight and said everyday he wished he would just die.  There are so many people that are still alive and their quality of life isn't necessarily good or what they would deem as the way they want to live.  I sometimes think that there should be some sort of option or something that I do not have a term for or a definition of to prevent the elderly from living into their eighties and nineties and sometimes longer and living miserably with the quality of their living conditions deteriorating daily.  But we continue to develop different drugs and methods to keep prolonging their lives.  Isn't there something more important to do for these elderly than keeping them alive simply because we can?  Don't get me wrong, some may live just fine and still get around and the like.  And sometimes families selfishly make decisions for their elderly family members regardless of their wishes to make those choices.  There is also the issue of monies from medicare and those programs that would be saved and passed on to more meaningful health areas.  This may shock some and make some think pretty low of me, but I do not care.  I am just being honest with my thoughts.  I personally think if we were to poll a majority of the very elderly, many of them would not be happy or content with their living conditions.  It can't be the greatest life to be in a nursing facility with visitors sometimes coming to see you only to leave and leave you alone with your bingo and bad food, bad or improper care, and sometimes horrible depression developing along with feelings of being alone.  And when they develop Alzheimer's or dementia, whats the point?  I know right now I will not allow that to happen to me.  It sounds like incarceration to me.  And it is quite expensive and a drain on insurance monies that could be saved and used on other medical areas.  Maybe there can be something along with will preparation and advanced directives I think they are called that would illustrate what their choices would be pertaining to just letting them go.  I'm not sure if Dr. Kevorkian type deaths are even legal or allowed but why not.  I am not saying whack the elderly when they hit a certain age necessarily but when they get to the point of being miserable, give them the option to end it and pass on into whatever is there once we leave this world.  I don't know how it would or could work but I really think something should be done.  Like I stated above, families sometimes selfishly make decisions to keep the elderly alive even when they want to let go.  There are a lot of benefits that would be reaped from this and I think alot of grateful elderly if we could come up with something.  Hopefully I wont be lynched for my thoughts.

Gobble gobble gobble

What is Mark thankful for I ask myself.  It takes slowing life down a bit to really assess my situation to truly see everything I am thankful for.

 The first thing I am thankful for is really simple.  Each little breath I take is a gift.  Trying to fill each breath of each second of every minute of my life with meaningful things to cherish is to be thankful for.  There are plenty of people everywhere in this world that do not have anything to be thankful for. 

I am very thankful for my wife Lyndsey in so many ways.  For here continuing patience with her slightly immature at times husband is monumental.  She is much younger and very wise in her ways.  We make one heck of a team.  I am thankful for that. 

I am thankful for my extended family; my wife’s family has embraced and loved me like a son.  My father in law is one of my best friends.  I am unbelievably close to them all.  Closer than I have ever been with my own flesh and blood. 

Two of the best things I am thankful for are my little monsters.  Princess Ava and Prince Isaac except me into their kingdom and share their love for me with every single breath they take.  I love them so much. 

And I think the thing I am really most thankful for that just hit me.  I lost my father nine years ago on the day after Thanksgiving giving me a cruddy taste in my mouth I haven’t been able to shake until this year.  Thinking of him and all he was thankful for and to all of the people and animals he made better lives for makes me realize I should simply be thankful for the time I had with him and not the manner or timing of his departure.

I will be forever committed to my family and of the memories we will carve into each others lives as we share our time here together on this big spinning rock.  As long as all of them keep smiling and living wonderful, fulfilling lives with me included, I will continue to be very thankful, and humble as I gracefully age.

Oh, and one of my true passions, one of my greatest treasures that I am very thankful for, pumpkin pie, enough said!

            

Week 10 blog-tattoos

I remember my first of four tattoos.  I remember the flat five as my friend called it bouncing off the bone in my spine at the base of my skull.  I remember thinking, what the heck am I doing man?  

I have a friend that does the ink in his spare time and is quite good at his craft.  He has done three of my four tattoos.  One of them has many more agonizing hours of work to finish the piece before it will be complete.  Ugh!  

         I personally love tattoos if they are located properly I shall say for a few reasons.  Mine all mean something.  And all of those meanings will ever change making me possibly regretting the tattoo, as they are kind of permanent.  And I love the choices I made; each piece makes my heart tug in different ways.

         There is a true art form in tattooing.  The canvas they use is always different on every single person.  The different pigments in the skin affecting every pigment in the ink differently.  I find it to be a fascinating craft. 

         There is a lot of very interesting history behind tattooing in every corner of the earth.  With every single corner having a different style and belief system associated with the tattooing. 

         I already have my next two tattoos planned.  One should only require a few hours.  The other is a portrait so it will need many bloody hours of pain to be complete.  But both of them have been in the plans for years.  And they will both take years to probably complete.  Ugh again!

Co$$ege

Well, the three different writings about college and all of the different angles that I could understand really, really got my attention.  The student essay about reducing college costs was right up my alley.  I have scoffed at the way college courses are required for years, as I have had a few extra years to analyze before I returned to school.  With roughly half of my requirements having absolutely nothing to do with my degree except that they cost a lot of money, it makes me really wonder a few things. 

Number Uno, what the hell man?  What is the purpose of having walking, bowling, badminton, art, music, geography, anthropology, theatre, biology, physics and many other offerings have nothing to do with my major?  I come up with nothing.  It really gets me scratching my head bloody.  It just seems wrong somehow.  So why is it so, I just don’t know.  I do find it nothing short of at least ridiculous with a side of ouch.

I have found taking some of my courses now that don’t relate to my degree have changed or broadened my view, affecting my thinking and how I arrive at that thought.  So there is some sense in the critical thinking skills associated with those courses being a benefit worthy of achieving. 

 And then also the essay from a parent’s perspective was enlightening as well.  I knew all of those kids that went on to college just because.  And many of them never stayed in and have made completely different career choices.  Some of them I say, well chosen my friend and others I wonder if maybe they should have completed school for some sort of guidance because they have to yet find that niche.

 And then placing economic value on getting my big, bad degree seems to make sense looking at those figures.  I have seen many people in my already many years get great jobs either in their field and a lot of times not just because of a degree.  My sister in law just was hired in a medical field with a four-year degree in business.  There were more job related qualified people her new boss said, but her degree is what they wanted.  She could be trained, or so they think! 

I definitely see value and many good things coming my way as I continue down this road of higher education.  I do think no matter what transpires when I am done that I should in some way be able to justify the debt incurred as worth it in the end.  

I am really having a hard time writing about this and coming up with an example.  Possibly due to me still struggling with the meanings.  I know the Pathos to be appealing to me based on emotion somewhat.  I see this everyday.  Fellow classmates mentioned the starving kids and animal cruelty commercials hitting you in the heart.  And of course those darned politicians pumping you full of what the other guy did and does and will do wrong if you elect them.  I have a tendency to get down right angry when I see that stuff.  The ones that get me the most are the starving children in other countries.  I am a compassionate man I would say, but I have a huge problem supporting anything like that for a few reasons.  Number one being when I was younger I knew two people that sent money, less than a cup of coffee a day they said and they both received the same picture of the same kid.  That told me right there that it was not what it seemed to be.  And the second reason is simply that I would have a hard time supporting anything overseas when we have many, many hungry and homeless people right here on our own corners.  It down right pisses me off.  I am the guy that gives them handouts, usually food and supplies for them and their pets they happen to have with them.  I never give them money though.  And I take a good analysis of if they are smoking, wearing new shoes and such.  maybe someone gave them new shoes but I think not.  I seen a fella the other day and he was smoking-five bucks a day habit, brand knew shoes, and they were Nike Air Jordans.  I assumed he was working the system as they sometimes say they do.  My biggest soft spot is for our veterans that seem to get treated like they did nothing and deserve nothing.  I am not sure if this is on target with the assignment, but it is what I pulled up in my craniums hard drive so to say.

The Brady bunch....

I am not sure what makes a dysfunctional family but I may know what one example may contain.  I am also not sure of how to trim a seven hundred page manual on it into a blog posting!  I did the laugh there that you would expect if you were me.  I grew up in so much dysfunction I wouldn't know were to start and wont begin to go to far into it.  Possibly another day with another angle.  Many, many good things came from our families very sick and dysfunctional background.  There were six of us kids and we all have done quite well.  Three of us are doing very well and the other three are doing well enough I would venture to say of them.  I also think every family including the Brady's have and need dysfunction on some level or scale.   Dysfunction is everywhere, not just in the family.  It is normal and regretfully sometimes everywhere we go.  And sometimes the level of dysfunction really isn't available in words, horrible is a good start though.  From never being able to figure out a burger with no pickles and extra onions PLEASE to our Government constantly on every level never being able to function without the dysfunction.  I see it everywhere and always have.  Some worse and more detrimental to others than some, some not necessarily bad but all of it dysfunctional and all of it affecting something else mostly adversely.  Function and dysfunction go together like butter and toast I think.  Or as I see it.  My immediate family now is absolutely wonderful and I honestly wouldn't change much.  I was going to say anything there but realized instantly that a few minor tweaks here and there if I were able to could be alright!  There is dysfunction in many areas of my family now.  Some of it is simply male confusion that hinders man and wife communication!  We figure it out, and some of it sticks around to baffle and continue to make me scratch my head and continue to wonder why is that so dysfunctional.  I think I may use different definitions than I have used here but all the same.  None of it is the really bad dysfunction, the healthy good stuff outweighs the bad 95-01.  Growing up it was almost reversed.  But as I said before, thankfully the flowers can still bloom even without all of the nutrients it needs to bloom. Sometimes that incredible adversity in a really dysfunctional family creates wonderful, fully functional future mostly non dysfunctional families!

Valleyfair adventures....

Whew, another awesome year as season pass holders again at Valleyfair.  My wife and I actually found time and sitters for the children last Friday and had a great time at Valleyscare-a Halloween adult only amusement park.  It was like being a kid again 100%.  At the end of the night after every scare attraction and ride as we were walking out we were going by an attraction called Carnevil and we asked if they were closed being the park closed at midnight and it was 11:57.  "Oh no" they said and they welcomed us in.  Last year I went through it alone and it was so so for a little scary.  My wife is scared of the dark almost and hates scary stuff.  I revel in it.  As we headed in right away I noticed it was not the same as the year before.  And as we passed through each point where somehow they would scare the you know what out of you, they all continued to follow us through this dark, freaky maze.  Finally after them some how separating us and hearing my wife scream like hell we were in a real deal horror flick and being reunited we end up in a hallway so to speak.  Well, they shut our only exit and about 20 or so ghoulish creatures  cornered us and uttered horrible things and sent us through some sort of claustrophobia causing inflatable thingy and we were genuinely scared.  They held us for only a minute or so but it seemed like an eternity.  I said I don't scare easy but I was losing it a little.  They were saying, this way and that way and were cackling and laughing at us.  Finally they allowed us to pass through a door we had idea how we couldn't find  and we ran through the rest as much as we could.  All night going through the other attractions I joked and said wouldn't it be messed up if we were really going to experience that crazy, slaughterhouse sort of movie reality in one of these.  My wife was not amused and then this happened.  What an evening.   The guy who doesn't scare was freaking like a little girl inside.  Good stuff I must say.  If you haven't experienced it and like a little thrill ride action mixed in, I HIGHLY recommend going.

Fakebook

The Fakebook Generation essay really summed up a lot of my thinking on social networking.  I ONLY have 75 friends on Facebook.  Would you say I don't have many friends or that I am unpopular?  Maybe if you are one of the many that have hundreds or even a thousand or more friends.  Come on man, no you don't.  I have 75 friends on facebook and half of them are friends of my wife's, friends of friends and that's about it. My real close friends are not even on Facebook!  The rest being some really old school friends that I may have never reconnected with had it not been for Facebook.  I receive friend requests often from either people I do not remember or just someone I might have known briefly or we went to the same school.  Even my sometimes morbid curiosity doesn't allow me to approve their friend requests.  I don't give a you know what about what they are going to post and I imagine they just want to add 1 more friend to their list.  When I have time or a reason to post something, I definitely don't want someone who is just nosey or really not my friend reading or possibly seeing my moments in time that I choose to share.  So on one hand I weigh the it's cool to reconnect and read a little humor, or alot if you are lucky enough to read my crap!  And on the other hand, what a waste of time.  My wife spends alot of time online looking at photos and she has alot of business friends and also alot of parents of children born early and with health problems.  So for her, most of the time she is actually connecting in a way that I think is great.  Sharing stories and experiences and sometimes just an online shoulder to cry on.  I notice at the college just walking by computer labs I see people always on Facebook.  Also in my own class there is always people on Facebook.  Every single time and always the same people.  I am so popular that when I do log in, other than new friends requesting to be my friend that 99% of the time I decline, there is no activity on my page much.  Since beginning school I rarely even check it out anymore.  I find it much more enjoyable to check out the discussion boards for all my classes.  That is real and the interaction is beneficial to me, and fun.  Myspace used to log the last time you logged in and others could see that also.  All in all, I see it as poison to certain people who post way to personal stuff and waste so much time just looking at what others are posting.  And to others who choose Facebook time over real people interaction time.  I know those people and oddly, when I communicate with them it is like talking to the enquirer magazine with all of the crazy, gossipy stories they get from online sources that they take on as reality.  And to others like myself that don't see it as a popularity contest of friends and just check it out from time to time when something more beneficial is not available to do, great.  Good things also can become of it.  Free way to contact friends and family from afar, finding old friends and the like.  I will be curious to what is yet to come as I am sure something new and exciting will surely rival and replace Facebook as they have pretty much done to Myspace.

Back to the vacation times....

Well, I have been lucky enough again to have enjoyed so much vacation time this summer.  We also rent a different cabin on different lakes each summer as a family.  My wife, our two mini me's, my father in law and sister in law and her daughter.  usually by the end of it, we say next year we are doing it alone!  We never do.  It was an adventure as usual.  Four adults, city folks at that trying to hop on a boat and hit the water with but  a clue and a vague memory from previous years mishaps on how this all works.  We finally get it running after grinding gears I was not aware that boat motors have.  Finally, after all of that we get to the middle of the lake and decide to launch the tube and begin pulling the kids as they were very excited to get on with that.  I cannot even put into words well enough what this crazy part of the adventure amounted to.  After bad tying of the pull rope, almost having the young ones bump into the harmless motor, until grandpa decided to gun it.  Did I mention the motor quit and had some mechanical issues right away also?  All in all, the noise and chaos of scared kids and all of us freaking out with kids about ready to jump out of the raft and all of that I am sure entertained other boaters and residents very much.  We have but one adventure left for the years vacations.  It was going to be us returning to Las Vegas for our five year anniversary.  Yes, we got married on a drunken holiday-St. Patrick's day in Vegas.  it was perfect for us.  We flew our close family out to meet us, we drove and had an adventurous time and we all had a great time on that trip as well.  Well, duty calls in another department so to say, so toodles for now.  

Back to the past....

As usual, not a clue what to write about.  But, thanks to our awesome teacher, I was able to come up with an article a while back that really struck me deeply.  There is a writer that writes about the backwoods I think it is called and he travels around and well, I have only read the one article I want to jive about.  He decided one day as he was researching or for whatever reason he decided to return to a childhood home that he had a great deal of memories of.  He dropped in on an old neighbor and friend and they reminisced for many hours.  And he began to think of whether or not he would change anything that he did as a younger and a bit more brash youngster.  And he decided nope.  I began to rethink this myself as I have touched on thinking before.  I came up with absolutely not.  I have had one hell of a ride and many adventures I will call them intense, life altering events.  And then some.  where I am at today even with adversity and amazingly busy and sometimes chaotic I am able to focus and deal with it with a smile.  No matter what, my little ones make anything and everything worth savoring every moment I can interact and be a Daddy.  That my children thankfully adore.  More than my wife, he he!  So with that said and one incredibly long and jumbled paragraph I will close with the fact that I in a sense believe in the butterfly effect.  Step on a butterfly in the past and possibly alter everything.  I simply wouldn't change a thing good or bad from my past at the thought of anything different than the gifts I am blessed with now.  My children, my awesome and very supportive wife, the opportunities and challenges I face and so on and so on.  Thank you Nikka for making me again think about this subject.  I may have forgotten it again.  It is never a bad deal to appreciate life and what you have.  Thank you.

Dad

There isn't a day that goes by that I do not think of him.  I so selfishly still wish he was still here.  He left the world by choice and that seems the worst. He had good enough reason's to leave this world when I think long and hard about it.  I am not sure how I would hold up to medical news that I was broken and couldn't be fixed.  Knowing being unable to be fixed meant leaving this world.

He fixed everything, from a nail hole to making me smile.  Until the end, there wasn't anything that could darken his demeanor.  He had a true loving and caring soul.  Unselfish in every way, giving to so many in so many ways.  Some by simply a gesture and sometimes monetary means.  He was very passionate about oddly 13 different charities and or organizations.  He gave everything he had to everything he was passionate about.  I don't believe I would be able to compose a list or a number of people he helped in some way directly or indirectly.

If only he was still here and if only there were many many more like him on this big round rock we live on.  The world would be a much better place in so many ways because of selfless people like Dad.

A qoutis ation that has inspired me....

Boy oh boy have I thought long and hard about this posting.  There are so many and many of them I cannot remember so I came to the conclusion that those ones can't be to important if I can't remember them.    So the one I came up with is from an unlikely source.  As I was doing my semi-annual dust behind those rarely seen and cared about places in my home I ran into a sticker I had stuck to the back side of my television years ago.  I hadn't forgotten about the saying but I couldn't remember where it was from.  It is from the movie Scarface believe it or not.  "The world is yours" is all it says.  The picture of Scarface on the picture coordinates well with the saying but it is definitely a hundred and eighty degrees of my take on the saying.  It is simple to remember and true to the fullest.  Anyone can and should live by this simple saying.  The world is mine and it only will be if I make it so.  I cannot control what happens in life completely but I can do certain things to mold what happens as best as I can.  Sometimes I forget this and slip into other modes of thinking but I always eventually come back to the world is mine.  I am pretty sure there is a James Bond movie with a similar title.

vacation 2010 # 1

 I have racked my brain and searched high and low for ideas for something to write about on this blog being I am stumped and unable to creatively come up with something myself.  I am not even going to  attempt to blame procrastination for this one.  I have been searching and searching for days for an idea.  I am simply drawing blanks.  So after all of that malarkey, I have decided to just ramble on for a while and see what transpires.

This is probably one of the most  memorable and fun summers of my life so far.  Two vacations already tucked under the belt with at least one more to go.  I would have to say lucky me!

 The first was to Rapid City, SD.  What a blast that place is.  Other than the ticket I was mailed being caught on camera for just barely not completely stopping at a red light, I cannot find a reason not to return to visit again.  An unbelievably diverse and broad range of tourist attractions.  We stayed six days, returned to many places more than once and could have stayed longer if we were able.  We wouldn't have been able to see all the sights if we had skipped sleep and stuck to an itinerary.   I felt as I had when I rolled into the mountains of Colorado years ago upon seeing the hills rise up before me, awed and in love with the scenery.

I lived in South Dakota for a few years many years ago but that was central state instead of western hills area.  Very flat and wide open with cattle everywhere.  Had I lived near the Badlands or Rapid City, I may have found a reason to stay instead of returning home to Rochester.

Well, I must retire and get some very badly needed sleep finally, more on my summer of fun later.

Hello

This is my first blog creation.